Dyslexic Cinderella

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

Rindercella worked very hard - frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and
shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was nucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and
the other was called Betty Swollocks. They were really forrible huckers,
and had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts
wouldn't let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang and her
gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole, and she was a
light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a
hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and
dig bicks.

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise
there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Miste all chucking frighty!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her
slass glipper.

Next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly
isters let him in. Suddenly Betty Swollocks lifted her leg and let off a
fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that
fugly ucker over there" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud
had lifted, the prandsome hince tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
isters without success. Their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swollocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a nack
in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a
hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The hince lived his
life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The Fairy Story

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,
the princess.
But there was a problem.
Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king,
"If your daughter touches one thing
that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed.
The next day,
he held a competition.
Any man that could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt would marry her
and inherit the king's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium.
But alas,
once the princess touched it,
it melted.
The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought a huge diamond,
thinking that diamond is the hardest substance
in the world and would not melt.
But alas,
once the princess touched it,
it melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached.
He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what
is in there."
The princess did as she was told,
though she turned red.
She felt something hard.
She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed.
Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess
and they both lived happily ever after.
What was the object in the prince's pants?

(Scroll down for the answer)

They were M&M's of course.They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.